


just me, you (and him) party

by zayndotcom



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Multi, awkward boys being silly- the fic, everyone is at least mentioned - Freeform, this.. idek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayndotcom/pseuds/zayndotcom
Summary: jungkook splutters, blushing fiercely, “i-i do not, how dare you! i am not a homewrecker,” he clings to namjoon more intensely, who lets out a noise of pain which he ignores, “they’re like you and jimin, basically soulmates, i can’t ruin that.”“that’s jimin-hyung to you, brat.”“sorry, jimin-ssi.”“i hate you.”“it’s not ruining anything if they invite you,” taehyung winks, smirking.or in which yugbam like jungkook, jungkook likes yugbam, mark wants everyone to act like mature adults and everyone else are just dragged along for the ride.





	just me, you (and him) party

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jincess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jincess/gifts).



> i... have no words for what this is. 
> 
> this ones for you bat, i promised you a fic like three months ago and im finally providing. everyone go love and support her because she is keeping the bamnation alive read her fics now!!!!!!!!!!!! ily <3333 
> 
> title from bambam's party bc i love my mans

 

“excuse me, what the hell do you call this?”

 

bambam and jungkook look up from where they're both crouched over an open sketchbook perched on the ground of bambam and yugyeom's dorm. 

 

“a room,” bambam answers, “i feel like we've gone over this, yugyeom.”

 

jungkook giggles and yugyeom seethes. 

 

“no, you useless lump of shit, i meant  _ this _ -” he gestures more intensely. 

 

“bit harsh, gyeom-ah,” jungkook says. 

 

“i'm helping jungkook out,” bambam rolls his eyes, like he knows exactly why yugyeom is angry. 

 

which… he probably does because he's 98% sure him and bambam are connected on a special soulmate level of understanding. 

 

yugyeom hums, not convinced, “helping him out how?”

 

bambam smacks his lips, “wouldn't you like to know.” 

 

jungkook's glances frantically between the both of them, eyes big and wide as he tries to understand what's going on. 

 

seeing jungkook's big eyes beside bambam's big eyes only makes yugyeom's angry pout intensify further, it should be illegal for two people with large, sparkling eyes to looks at yugyeom at the same time. especially if it's bambam's who owns one of the pairs of eyes. Super Illegal. 

 

yugyeom crosses his arms and cocks his hip, raising his eyebrows, “i would.” 

 

bambam sits back on his knees, shifting closer to jungkook and placing his hand on his thigh. jungkook squeaks and yugyeom's fists clench. bambam just blinks innocently. 

 

jungkook coughs, “i suddenly have to go, i think i left a kitchen appliance on.” 

 

yugyeom watches jungkook scramble to leave, bambam's hand falling from his thigh as he forgets his sketchbook and runs past yugyeom out of the room, eyes pointed at the ground and ears tinted red. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“jungkook, would you like to share with the class as to why you have gathered us all here?” jimin says, perched on the tiny amount of space jungkook has left on the bed. namjoon takes up at least 75% of the space, but he’s being used as a source of comfort for now, jungkook squeezes him in his arms in reminder. “here being my dorm, for some reason,” he adds. 

 

jungkook flushes, he's not really sure if there's a subtle way to say this. but now's as good a time as any, jimin’s roommate had taken one look at jungkook and namjoon on the bed before spinning on his heels and walking right back out of the room, and the rest of their friends are busy so it’s sa private as this conversation is ever going to get. 

 

“c'mon, kook-ah,” namjoon encourages, voice strained from the tight grip jungkook has on him. his air supply is getting a little low, he really hopes jungkook doesn’t break one of his ribs, “we're here to listen and help,” he pats the hand clutching his shirt, hoping to comfort him. 

 

jungkook, moved by these gestures, takes a deep breath and prepares himself. 

 

“i think bambam and yugyeom are trying to fuck me. at like- the same time?” 

 

namjoon promptly chokes. 

 

“ha! called it!” taehyung cackles as waltes into the room, a key card in his hand that definitely cannot be legal because he doesn’t even live on campus, let alone in this room. 

 

“how did you get in?” jungkook cries, embarrassed, hiding his face between namjoon’s vibrating shoulder blades as he coughs up a lung. 

 

“made myself a key card for the building when jiminie moved in, obviously,” taehyung answers and jungkook honestly doesn’t want to know anymore about how he obtained it in fear that he might be connected to the clear crime taehyung’s committing. 

 

“but that doesn’t matter,” taehyung grins, placing himself in jimin's lap like the bed isn’t already crowded enough as it is, “tell us more about this suacy threesome you think is going to happen.” 

 

namjoon lets out a strained whine at the word threesome, face still red from nearly dying, “please don’t put jungkook and threesome in the same context, that’s my  _ child _ .” 

 

now it’s jungkook’s turn to whine, spooning namjoon harder in humiliation, “i don’t know, okay! they’ve just been acting… weird. and there’s all this like strange tension that surrounds us whenever we're all in a room together. i don’t know, it’s just weird.” 

 

“this sounds like something out of twilight,” jimin sighs, starry eyed. 

 

“that book is trash,” namjoon says passionately, apparently recovered from the shock. 

 

taehyung ignores them, “and this lead you to think that they wanna fuck you? ‘strange tension’” 

 

jungkook pouts, “do you think i’m reading too much into this?” 

 

“maybe they act like this with everyone?” namjoon suggests, “every time i see them interact with jackson i always think they’re gonna physically fight one another or start sucking each other’s dicks. maybe they’re not acting weird, but are rather, just really weird naturally.” 

 

jimin hums, unconvinced, “i don’t know. because i’m pretty sure that just how  _ jackson  _ is with everyone” 

 

“maybe so,” namjoon says wistfully. 

 

“i guess you could be right,” jungkook says, not really sure what they’re talking about anymore, “maybe i am just overthinking this. they could just be really friendly?” 

 

taehyung shrugs, “you could just ask them if they’re down to fuck, because we all know you wanna be in the middle of that.” 

 

jungkook splutters, blushing fiercely, “i-i do not, how dare you! i am not a homewrecker,” he clings to namjoon more intensely, who lets out a noise of pain which he ignores, “they’re like you and jimin, basically soulmates, i can’t ruin that.” 

 

“that’s jimin- _ hyung _ to you, brat.” 

 

“sorry, jimin- _ ssi _ .” 

 

“i hate you.” 

 

“it’s not ruining anything if they invite you,” taehyung winks, smirking. 

 

jimin nods, “yeah, we fuck namjoon all the time and we’re still perfectly healthy soulmates” 

 

namjoon lets out a cry, “jimin! why?” 

 

“you  _ what _ ?” jungkook drops his hold on namjoon in shock. 

 

“i mean,” jimin backpedals, eyes shifting as taehyung rolls his own and namjoon stares blankly at the wall in horror, “haha! i’m joking. anyway, just let the threesome thing go for now and if anything happens it happens.”

 

“okay,” jungkook says slowly, deciding to ignore jimin’s previous comment for now because he has more pressing issues at hand to deal with, “yeah, i will let it go. it’s probably nothing. they’re just being their usually overly touchy selves.” 

 

jungkooks nods to himself, he can live with that. no threesomes with cute boys for him anytime soon. they’re probably happy together and would find the idea of having a threesome ridiculous. crazy. who even has threesomes? definitely not jungkook and certainly not yugyeom and bambam. with jungkook. in a threesome. 

 

time to let that thought go. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“fuck,” yugyeom moans, pushing bambam on the bed, seconds after jungkook has rushed out of the room. he attaches their lips again as they grab desperately at each other, “you’re both so hot together, we need to have a threesome with him soon before i start nutting in public anytime i see the two of you together.” 

 

bambam huffs a laugh as yugyeom being trailing kisses down his neck, a sneaky hand climbing up his shirt, “exhibitionism? you're gonna give jinyoung and youngjae a run for their money.” 

 

yugyeom bites bambam's neck and he hisses, “please don't make me think about That Night again. i've barely recovered,” he shudders. 

 

jinyoung and youngjae have been banned from sitting next to each other ever since That Night but that doesn't erase what yugyeom had  _ seen _ . 

 

bambam distracts yugyeom from his trauma by kissing him again, pulling him closer by wrapping his too long legs around his waist. the conversation dies as they get caught up in each other, bambam trying to unbutton his own shirt because he doesn't trust yugyeom's big meaty claws, while yugyeom pulls his t-shirt over his head. 

 

bambam reaches out a hand to grab at yugyeom's now fully exposed tattoo, gripping and digging his nails into the complicated body art that takes up most of his side, “remembers jungkook's face when he first saw this? i really thought his soul was about to pass on.” 

 

“oh god, we all need to get together already,” yugyeom moans, mostly out of frustration but also because bambam has attached his teeth to his neck, “i don't think i can take anymore unresolved sexual tension. it's giving me flashbacks to before we got together.”

 

they both shudder at the memory of their final year in high school. they truly were dark times for everyone. 

 

“we just have to be more forward,” bambam mumbles, voice muffled as he trails kisses down yugyeom's neck and onto his chest. 

 

“we're gonna scare him,” yugyeom pouts, voice whiny, “you saw how he ran away today.” 

 

“maybe if you hadn't come in raging like the Hulk, jungkook would have stayed,” bambam rolls his eyes, biting at yugyeom's pec, causing him to gasp and arch his back. 

 

yugyeom pouts harder, “i really like him, okay? i wanna get this right.” 

 

bambam soothes a hand down yugyeom side, moving up to kiss him lightly on the lips, “i know you do, gyeom-ah. i really like him too,” he smiles, kissing him again and yugyeom can feel himself relaxing, “he'll come around eventually. trust me, i have a plan.” 

 

“i’m mildly concerned by that,” yugyeom says, half joking. he slides his hands up bambam's bare back and clutches at his thin waist. “but i do trust you.” 

 

“good boy,” bambam grins and yugyeom flushes, “now stop angsting and let me suck your dick.”

 

“o-okay,” yugyeom squeaks and bambam laughs. 

  
  
  
  
  


“what's this i hear about you trying to seduce jungkook?” jaebum says, like he'd rather not know but can't help himself from asking. or rather jinyoung is forcing him to do this because he was the one who couldn't make it his and bambam's weekly coffee date, so he sent jaebum in his place. who then brought yoongi with him because sometimes they can be strangely codependent. 

 

yoongi's eyes widen as he blinks at bambam, “you're doing what now.” 

 

“i plead the fifth,” is all bambam says. 

 

“that doesn't apply here,” jaebum counters, unamused, “now give me details about this jungkook plan you and yugyeom have created or jinyoung will skin me alive.” 

 

yoongi sips his coffee, interested now, “yes, please. tell me more about what you and idiot number two want to do with my idiot.” 

 

“i don't like it when the two of you are together,” bambam says instead, “it's like being silently judged by two prissy cats, i hate it.”

 

they both just stare at him, disinterest in their eyes. they make a strange couple, sitting beside each other while looking like complete strangers who just so happened to be at the same table except for the fact that yoongi has jaebum's hand tightly held in his own. for someone who is psychically much larger than yoongi, jaebum's hand looks tiny engulfed in yoongi's yaoi fist. 

 

the silence drags on until finally bambam breaks, “ugh, fine, you got me. stop pressuring me!” 

 

“we didn't say anything,” jaebum raises an eyebrow. 

 

“exactly,” bambam pouts, “anyway back to mine and yugyeom's plan to fuck jungkook but also love and appreciate him.” 

 

yoongi flinches, finally fully realising what's about to happen, “wait no, i take it back. i don't want to know anymore, please spare me.”

 

“no,” bambam says, determined, “this is what you asked for. so it all started when we saw jungkook in the gym at the start of last semester..”

 

“we're not coming out of this unscarred, are we?” yoongi whispers to jaebum, horrified as bambam goes into an extremely detailed description of jungkook's sweaty thighs. 

 

“nope,” jaebum agrees, trying to block out bambam by remembering a time before he ever knew him. a happier time, “we really aren't.” 

  
  
  
  


forty minutes later, minds filled with an extremely vivid picture of what exactly yugyeom and bambam want to do with jungkook, jaebum and yoongi finally leave the cafe.

 

“i don't think i'm ever going to be able to sleep soundly after that,” jaebum says after ten minutes of silent walking towards their apartment building, “i'm also never going to forgive jinyoung for this.” 

 

“jinyoung? he's not to blame for this,” yoongi says solemnly, “the day i met any of you crazy fucks was the biggest mistake of my life. i should've avoided you all harder when namjoon thought it would be a good idea to have our two groups mingle.” 

 

“not meeting me would have been the biggest mistake of your life, yoongi-yah” jaebum sings as swings their joined hands together, smiling cheesily. 

 

yoongi pretends to ponder this, “nope, i don't think so. i'd take never meeting you over being able to erase the knowledge i now have about where bambam wants to put  _ ‘jungkook's veiny muscular forearms’ _ ,” he shudders. 

 

“you know what,” jaebum hums as he considered this, “i agree.” 

 

“knew you would, babe,” yoongi squeezes his hand, “it’s why we’re dating.” 

 

“because i agree with you?” 

 

“yep.”

 

“...valid.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“go away,” mark says, without even looking up from his d.s. 

 

yugyeom pouts, throwing himself at him. mark makes room for him, all while never taking his eyes from the console in his hands. bambam is impressed. 

 

“help us, hyung~” yugyeom whines, squirming around in an attempt to be annoying and get mark to break but the man is made of stone. and also has way too much experience dealing with two bratty maknaes all the time. 

 

mark curses as he falls off the edge of rainbow road again, “i know what you need help with, and trust me when i say i don’t want any part of this,” he says through gritted teeth. fuck mario cart, it was made by demons and sadists. 

 

bambam gasps, “how do you know?” 

 

there's a beat of silence, “park jinyoung,” they all say at once. 

 

“but we need your help, hyung,” yugyeom begs, withering around mark’s lap, who’s now holding his d.s. in the air to save it from his obnoxiously long limbs, “bambam’s plan failed, even after he promised me it wouldn’t, and you have experience with threesomes because of that weird thing you have going on with jinyoung and youngjae.”

“and that thing you had going on with jimin and taehyung,” bambam adds. 

 

mark sighs, “fine, fuck, i’ll help you.” he slams his d.s. shut and pushes yugyeom off of his lap, who falls with a shout and lands on the ground with a heavy thud. “what exactly was bambam’s plan?” 

 

“well…” 

 

“actually wait, i can probably guess,” mark interrupts, pretending to think about it, “bambam thought it was be a good idea to flaunt your relationship in front of jungkook, who in turn got really flustered and started avoiding you, and now he can’t look you in the eyes and you don’t know what to do.” 

 

yugyeom and bambam gape at him, “how…?” 

 

mark picks at his nails, “you’re really predictable, bambam.” 

 

“i-!” bambam starts but yugyeom sends him a look and his mouth shuts. he coughs, “valid.” 

 

mark sits up properly, making room on the couch for bambam and yugyeom to sit either side of him. he pats the empty spots, “come sit beside me, i’m gonna tell you something and i need you close to me when i say it because you might find it hard to understand.” 

 

feeling vaguely patronised and scared, the two make their way over to mark, yugyeom finally picking himself off the ground from where he was too lazy to move from when he was pushed there. they make themselves comfortable on either side of mark, and mark puts his bony hands on both of their knees. 

 

“you’re gonna need to talk to jungkook. like the kinda adults you are. no funny business.” 

 

there a beat of calmness before the whining starts. 

 

“nooo, hyung, please. anything but that!” 

 

“i don’t even know what an adult is, mark. i can’t-” 

 

mark claps his hands to stop the noise because the two have now decsended into post verbal complaining, “stop acting like babies and sit the boy down, explain it to him  _ gently _ ,” he shoots a look at bambam, “that you want to add him to your relationship and then give him a chance to think about it.” 

 

“gross,” bambam frowns. 

 

mark sighs again. 

 

yugyeom gulps, “i think he’s right, bam-ah,” he braces himself, “we need to… t-talk.. to jungkook. like real people would.”

 

bambam slumps into mark’s side, head butting his arm until mark gives in and start petting his hair in comfort, “are you sure i can’t just like suck your dick in front of him next time we’re all together and he’ll finally get the point.” 

 

“no you can’t,” mark pulls bambam’s hair and he yells out in pain, “the only point he’ll get is that you’re disgusting. which you are.” 

 

bambam huffs, “fine, no public dick sucking. i get it. we aren’t youngjae and jinyoung.” 

 

everyone grimaces at the memory. 

 

mark pulls the two tight against his sides and squeezes them before pushing them away and off the couch. they both fall to the group with a shout, landing in an ungraceful pile at mark’s feet.

 

“what the fuck, again? hyung. why?” 

 

“now fuck off and leave me alone. jinyoung and youngjae are coming soon and i don’t need you to here to cockblock me.” 

 

bambam and yugyeom pick themselves off the ground, grumbling under their breaths as they move towards the door. 

 

“good luck with jungkook!” mark says, waving. 

 

bambam flips him off. 

 

they’re about to open the door to leave mark’s apartment before mark calls out and stops them. 

 

“by the way,” mark asks,  “how did you even know about the jimin and taehyung thing? i never told either of you about that. was it jackson who told you? i fucking bet it was” 

 

“nah, it was a lucky guess,” bambam shrugs, “everyone’s had a thing with them at some stage. at least before they became semi-serious with namjoon, anyway.” 

 

mark nods, satisfied, “you rite.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“i wanna die,” jungkook yells into the pillow, covers pulled over his head in an effort to hide himself the world and every person who inhabits it. 

 

“no you don’t,” hoseok rubs the lumps that is jungkook soothingly, “you’re just… stressed.” 

 

“yo! what’s going on hobi-” jackson stops in the doorway from where namjoon was letting him into the apartment and takes a look at the scene in the living room, “are you busy?” 

 

namjoon sighs, “this is why we don’t start yelling the second we walk into other people’s apartments, jackson. i feel like we’ve already had this conversation,” he pockets his keys and makes his way into the room. 

 

“jungkook?” he guesses, looking at the couch lump. 

 

jungkook whines, “yep,” hoseok says. “you deal with this, joon-ah. you're the one who has experience in this area.” 

 

“what area?” 

 

“threesomes!” hoseok sings and the jungkook lump hisses. 

 

namjoon blushes, “shut up.” 

 

“c'mon seun-ah,” hoseok jumps up and grabs jackson's arm, pulling him towards the kitchen, “i think i hear seokjin making food in here, let's keep him company.” 

 

“isn't seokjin in tokyo right now?”

 

“details~.” 

 

namjoon shakes his head as he watched the two leave out of the front door. they could have made their hasty retreat a little less obvious, this isn't even namjoon's apartment! he's not sure why hoseok didn't just ask them to leave but he also doesn't try to understand hoseok's thought process most of the time because it give him a headache. 

 

he turns back to look at the jungkook lump and resigns himself to being the only left to deal with it. 

 

“come out of there, jungkookie,” namjoon says, sitting on the edge of the couch to shake the lump, “tell hyung what's wrong.” 

 

“no,” even through the mounds of blankets namjoon can feel the pout. 

 

“hyung can't help if you don't tell him what's wrong,” namjoon tries again, rubbing the blankets soothing even if he's not sure jungkook can feel it through the layers. 

 

there’s another distressed sound before jungkook’s head finally pops out  from the pile of blankets and he looks at namjoon with big, sad eyes, “yugyeom and bambam keep doing… things, and it makes my heart sad.” 

 

namjoon pats jungkook’s cheek in support, “what are they doing that makes your heart sad?” 

 

“they keep being in love in front of me and like talking very openly and in a lot of detail about their sex life,” jungkook huffs sadly. 

 

“o-oh.” 

 

“and it just makes me feel like they know about my crush… crushes? on them and they’re trying to tell me they don’t want me. that they’re happy with each other,” jungkook sighs, defeated, tempted to pull the blankets back over his face and hid away forever- that seemed to be pretty good the first time. plus hoseok can’t say no to his sad face so all he has to do is convince seokjin to let him live of their couch rent free and then he’ll never have to go out into the real world every again! 

 

“plus did they really need to tell everyone about the time they fucked on the plane going over the thailand? my dream is to join the mile high club and here are the two people i like talking about doing exactly that but without me there,” jungkook slaps his hands against the blankets,  frowning in annoyance. 

 

namjoon blinks, “that… wasn’t very nice of them?” 

 

“right!” jungkook says, glad that someone agrees with him. “you know what, if yugyeom and bambam clearly don’t want me, i should just get over them.” 

 

“wait, what?” namjoon feels like this conversation has gotten away from him and he hasn’t even had a chance to really say anything. 

 

“i need to stop pining for some guys who don’t like me and live my life,” jungkook pushes himself out of his protective cocoon of sadness, “i don’t need them!” 

 

“no, jungkook. what are you talking about?” namjoon can’t believe his ears. he did not listen to yoongi despairing over exactly how much bambam and yugyeom want jungkook for three straight hours just for jungkook to pull this bullshit. 

 

“thanks, namjoon-hyung,” jungkook says, struggling to break free from the blankets and stand up, but through sheer determination and will he manages it. the things newly found self discovery can do for the body, damn. 

 

“... for what…” namjoon asks, frightened of what it might be. 

 

“for helping me realise i don’t need to sit at home pining all day. that i should be out there living my life and not crushing on boys who don’t even like or want me,” jungkook smacks a kiss onto namjoon’s forehead, “you’re the best, hyung.” 

 

namjoon watches, frozen on hoseok’s and seokjin’s coach, as jungkook shoves his feet into his shoes and marches out of the apartment, insanity in his eyes. 

 

he fall back into the coach, groaning, “i’m never going to live this down,” he says to the empty apartment. 

  
  
  
  
  


just as namjoon predicted, twenty minutes later his phone rings and he picks it up with a heavy heart and dead eyes. 

 

“excuse me, hyung,” jimin’s voice greets him, icy cold and terrifying “but why exactly had jungkook just texted me saying that  _ you  _ lead him to the revelation that he doesn’t need yugyeom and bambam because they  _ don’t want him _ .” 

 

“if you only knew, jimin. if you only knew.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


“where is he?” bambam yells, stomping into jaebum's and yoongi's apartment. 

 

yoongi slides into the hallway, dessert spoon held in one hand and a cat in the other, fluffy socks on his feet causing him to slip on the wooden floor, “not today cunt-... oh it's just you two.” 

 

yugyeom clings to bambam, the key jinyoung gave them to jaebum's apartment digging into his side, “what the fuck?” he whispers. 

 

“i thought someone was trying to break in,” yoongi explains with a shrug, he doesn't even have to decency to pretend to be embarrassed. 

 

“and the people breaking in happened to have a key to the door?” bambam holds up the key in yugyeom's hand. 

 

yoongi rolls his eyes, ignoring the comment. the cat in his arms struggles to be let down and yoongi releases it and it immediately runs over to jaebum who is now joining them in the hallway.

 

“why the fuck are you two here now? i thought i said i never wanted to either of you ever again,” jaebum says as a he swoops down to pick up the cat, as if he isn't already holding three others. 

 

yugyeom pouts, “we saw you yesterday, you just say that every time you leave us.” 

 

“oh yeah.” 

 

“you deal with this, babe,” yoongi says, sliding over to jaebum and pressing a kiss to his neck- bambam and yugyeom gag, “i'm gonna make sure namjoon hasn't looked too hard at dinner and somehow destroyed it.”

 

jaebum watches fondly as yoongi leaves before turning to look back at them, “okay but really, why are you here?” 

 

bambam sighs, “we can't find jungkook, it's been a week since we've last seen him and we have something really important to tell him.”

 

“also,” yugyeom adds, throwing an arm around bambam's shoulder and leaning heavily against him, “we can't find mark, either. so now we have no one to get questionable advice from.” 

 

“oh,” jaebum blinks, “they're both here.”

 

“what?!” 

 

“actually, everyone is here.” 

 

they gasp in horror.

 

“where was our invite, whore,” bambam cries, offended. 

 

jaebum rolls his eyes, “we knew you'd both turn up eventually. plus jungkook wouldn't come if he knew you two were coming.” 

 

“why?” yugyeom asks, genuinely hurt now. 

 

jaebum uses a cat to gesture to the living room, “ask him yourself, he's been in there playing smash for the past two days straight.” with that he turns on his heels and walks out of the hallway, leaving a trail of cats behind him. 

 

bambam and yugyeom slips off their shoes, making their way to the sitting room. 

 

“fuck you yoshi!” 

 

is what they’re greeted with when they enter the room. 

 

jungkook is cocooned in blankets on the couch, jimin and taehyung on either side of him as he yells curses and threats at the t.v. jinyoung is standing over the couch watching them with pity in his eyes and youngjae is in the other corner of the room. which bambam supposes is fair considering what those two usually get up to when they’re at meet ups like this. disgusting. 

 

“oh, you fucks made it,” mark says as he walks in from the kitchen. bambam doesn’t want to know how many people are currently in that tiny room. 

 

jungkook looks away from the his game finally and catches sight of yugyeom and bambam standing in the room.

 

“oh shit,” he cries, throwing his controller across the room, nearly hitting a cat in the process, and dives behind jimin’s back. 

 

“we can all still see you, kook-ah,” jinyoung says, shaking his head and jungkook just shierks in response. 

 

“i blame namjoon for this,” jimin says as jungkook tries to make a human wall out for him. 

 

bambam hears namjoon whine in the distance. 

 

mark sighs, “i thought i told you the proper way to deal with all,” he gestures at the entire room, “this.” 

 

“we didn’t get a chance to do anything,” yugyeom defends, stomping his foot like the mature adult he is, “this is the first time we’ve seen him all week!” 

 

mark’s eyes roll back like this conversation is causing him physical pain, “everyone but jungkook out, let the maknaes deal with this shit show,” he yells, clapping his hands, “get up and into the kitchen.” 

 

everyone starts to move semi-reluctantly, “i really wanna witness this conversation,” taehyung mumbles. 

 

“we can just eavesdrop from the kitchen,” youngjae says, pulling him into the kitchen.  

 

“someone get this oversized man baby off of me,” jimin slaps at jungkook’s arms and jinyoung pokes him in the side until he finally releases his hold. 

 

they make their way to the kitchen, mark stopping just before he leaves the room, “gently,” he reminds them, looking bambam dead in the eyes before he also leaves too. 

 

“this room definitely is not big enough for all of us,” the muffled voice of hoseok can be heard through the door. 

 

“shut up and just spoon me,” is yoongi’s response before the room goes completely quiet. 

 

there’s an awkward moment when bambam and yugyeom are just standing at the edge of the room and jungkook is lying face down on the couch- unmoved from the position he fell into once he had been forcefully removed from jimin. no one says anything, the only thing filling the silence is the shuffling and whispered curses that can be heard from the kitchen. 

 

that is until bambam finally cracks. 

 

“sit up jungkook, it’s time to have a-” he chokes slightly on the words but powers through, “h-have a mature, adult discussion.” 

 

bambam makes himself comfortable on the slither of space left of the couch that isn’t taken up by jungkook’s broken body, pulling yugyeom down beside him. 

 

jungkook makes a muffled groaning sound, but manages to pull himself up into a somewhat seated position, “i don’t wanna hear it.” 

 

yugyeom frowns sadly and bambam purses his lips, “why have you been avoiding us?” 

 

jungkook shrugs, “because.” 

 

“that’s not an answer,” yugyeom pouts and jungkook makes a strangled noise. 

 

“don't pout,” he cries, covering his eyes, “it makes my heart sad.” 

 

“yeah, well, it made my heart sad to find out you're avoiding us,” yugyeom's pout deepens. 

 

jungkook lowers his hands, “i wasn't  _ avoiding  _ you, i just- uh… needed some space? to deal with stuff?”

 

they sit in silence again for a beat and yugyeom sighs, “we just really need to tell you something, and please hear us out before you make your decision. please.”

 

“i-” jungkook braces himself, “okay, i'll listen.” 

 

yugyeom sends bambam a  _ so go on then _ look and he rolls his eyes, takes a breath to centre himself and says, “we wanna fuck you. like the both of us. sexually and romantically.” 

 

yugyeom gulps and jungkook blinks. 

 

“you…  _ what _ ?” jungkook’s voice is so high pitched that it's barely understandable. 

 

bambam places a hand on his knee, guiding yugyeom’s to jungkook’s other on, “you heard me,” he says. 

 

jungkook’s mouth pops open. they all ignore the chaos that’s exploded in the kitchen. 

 

“a-are you..-” jungkook stares very hard at the hands on his knees, “sexually  _ and  _ romantically?” 

 

“fuck yeah,” yugyeom says, nodding seriously, “do you wanna be apart of-” he uses his free hand to gesture at the three of them, “ _ this _ .” 

 

jungkook bites his lip, fingers clutching his blankets, “hell fucking yeah i do!” 

 

“woo, high five for being mature adults,” bambam yells, three hands colliding in the saddest excuse for a high five there’s ever been but it doesn’t matter because they all like each other so it's amazing. 

 

jungkook throws a switch controller at yugyeom, “come on boyfriend number one, play me in smash even if you main kirby like a fucking basic. boyfriend number two, cuddle me i need a lot for comfort for all the pining i’ve been doing for the past couple of months.” 

 

bambam giggles, throwing himself into jungkook’s side, “no problem boyfriend,” he pulls yugyeom over the two of them, “boyfriend,” he greets. 

 

“boyfriend,” yugyeom replies, he clutches jungkook’s thigh, “boyfriend?” 

 

“boyfriend,” jungkook agrees. 

 

the three of them dissolve into laughter while smash loads on the screen in front of them. being a mature adult is  _ easy _ . 

  
  
  
  
  


BONUS 

 

“how the fuck are we gonna get out of here,” youngjae asks. 

 

“mark-hyung, you’re closest to the door, open it.” 

 

“i can’t move my arms, there isn’t enough room.”

 

“who’s idea was it to fit 11 fully grown men into this pathetic excuse of a kitchen.” 

 

“fuck you, jinyoung. this kitchen is great.” 

 

“someone yell for one of the maknaes to open the door.” 

 

“they won’t hear us, you know how they get when they play smash.” 

 

“fuck.” 

 

“how long do you think it’ll take for them to notice.” 

 

“i dunno, a couple days maybe?” 

 

“double fuck.” 

 

“at least they’re not having sex in there, that would be awkward.”

 

a moan echoes throughout the apartment. 

 

“fuck you, hoseok. this is your fault.” 

 

“i’m sorry.” 

 

“oh no, the cats! they’re too young to witness this.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the awful ending im really bad at those :/ also please be kind this is the first time I've ever written the bts members properly so i might have fucked up their characterisation djdjsjjs
> 
> if yall made it this far ily and i hope u liked it especially bat ily <333333 also thanks to yasmin for always hyping me up i love uuuuuuuuuuuUuUuu ur the best <333333333333
> 
> if ye wanna see me hype bambam up then follow me on twitter @jaebumisbald or if you wanna see me clown jaebum and marry/fight anons then follow me on tumblr @jaebald


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